Two weeks ago, I applied for CNA training at a nursing home in my town. The very next day I got a call for an interview. (It was less an interview than being talked at by the staffing coordinator whom I already love… She’s hilarious!) Today I had orientation, which was a very long boring process of filling out forms, being spoken to by various heads of departments, and my first ever drug test. Tomorrow, I’ve got another orientation for another aspect of the job, and next Wednesday my training officially starts. I’ll be training with two other girls my age, both of whom are married with children, however. And related to each other. They are very sweet, and I’m looking forward to getting to know them better during the next few weeks of classes and clinicals, and the coming months of working together. (praying for second shift and not third!!)
I’m getting off topic a little bit, but I hope you’ll forgive me. I’ve been interested in the nursing field for a while, even though I never expressed an interest in it because of some insecurities I had regarding liking the same things as other people. (my aunt and her daughter are both in nursing school..) I feel like The Lord opened up this door for me, to show me what I can do with His help. And I will only be able to do these things with His help. I was talking to my mom recently, and she mentioned reading somewhere about a woman who had a career in helping others. When she was asked about something that she wanted others to know about helping others, her response was “I want them to know that helping people takes out of you. You give and you give to them, but you will run out of goodness to give them. I want them to know that they need to fill themselves with God, and His Word, so that they can keep giving. You will run out of goodness on your own, but He will never run out.” (I paraphrased that a bit)
That thought struck me like nothing else has in a while. I struggle a lot with remembering that God is God and I am not. I don’t read my Bible as often as I should, or pray like I ought to. But in this vocation that I have chosen, I am going to be taking care of people who wont be able to go to the restroom by themselves. I will be bathing people, caring for people who no longer remember who they are, dealing with hurting residents, and all of the frustrated families who want the very best care for their mothers and fathers. I will be giving a lot of myself to people who will not appreciate it. If I try to do it on my own, I will run out of patience, and kindness, and love. I NEED God to remind me that I need Him to help me. I NEED God to give me patience with difficult residents. I NEED God to help me to be kind to hateful people. I NEED God to help me show His love to people whose families have left them in a home and forgotten about them.
The staffing coordinator showed us a closet full of shampoo, conditioner, hairbrushes, combs, toothbrushes, and sorts of other basic care things that they have to keep stocked because the families wont provide these items for the residents. I wanted to cry for the people who are here and forgotten about.
Lord, remind me how much I need You. Show me who You are, help me! I need You to give me strength on the rough days. Help me to be kind even to the people who are upsetting. Help me to be who You would have me to be! Lord, I want to be faithful! Fill me with Your own sweet spirit so I can serve others and never run out of gentleness.